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I've been thinking. [11 Aug 2005|12:48pm]

xkillingmadison
Phantom of the Pharmaceutical
At heart, she had the disposition of a prom queen in the cleanest dress. But on the outside, a separate image, decorated with sterry strips and surface veins. Oh, her hair, the purest definition of silk, now gray like the clouds that she feels shading her as auras of premonition, foreshadowing her procession on the darkest day. Somehow, she gave forth the slightest invitation that went by unable to be ignored (years later, I’d come to regret it.) “Salutations,” cried her doorman (an aficionado of the finest brands,) “we love company.” The doors revolved counterclockwise under the watch of vacant eyes… suddenly I felt hypnotized. “Don’t mind the creaking stairs or the dim lights or the feeling of impending death. The constructs are old, as well as the wiring, and soon there’ll be none of you left.” I guess it all started on some dark and stormy night. That’s to say the least. And on that fateful night, I became her Messiah, and the organs upon which she played her desperate songs. Through these doors and fire lit tunnels, strange sensations and misguided sightings; my eyes glazed over and water filled my chest. The waves crashed upon my own shore and, gritting my teeth against text and sand, I gave in to my own crumbling will. I indulged in her, garter, corset and all, until my eyes bled dry from blackened sockets and I was weak in the knees. I laid there helpless in submission, but the tricks up my sleeve crept out in silence to chew me free of my bindings. The ropes fell away and my feet met the ground in flight similar to a fire escape. I made my departure as a fresh-learnt martyr and kissed farewell my momentary rape. Her eyes were the greatest souvenir, as I walked away with nicotine in my smile. Oh, but it was worth all the while, the sad sung song from the seas to the Nile.


No Means Noah
Gentlemen! The time has come to sell yourselves short of the buck and change that you’re worth. Despite the warnings of amputation and wreckage, you failed to keep your hands inside the ride at all times, and now this roller coaster ride is taking you straight to a cellblock with you name carved all over it. Swine of society, to arms! You’ve all been selected to take part in this year’s public disgust pageant. A dress rehearsal will be held a week from your audition; please present yourself accordingly in a standard orange jumpsuit marked with your contestant number. You will be accompanied by your own personal understudy (or one will be appointed to you.) Remember to smile onstage, reflecting the upstanding model citizens that you could have one day been. It’s very, very important that you present yourself as a dignified adult or else the stagehands are bound to come and take you away. Your performance must outdue the charms of the hero, or you just won’t make a convincing enough villain. The curtain closes so quickly, and while the whites of your eyes were honest like Abe, the crowd saw through your crooked character flaws. Smile for the cameras, it’s time for your close-up. I’ll have you in makeup by lights, and by sundown the stage will be set for your stunning premier. You are the role the playwrights prayed for, and with their hands folded, they resemble harmless doves. Beautiful, I’ve got your career in the palm of my hand, and I can make or break you. Tonight it seems quite possible that I could shatter your dreams. You’ll never dance in this town again, due to bad luck and acting. You’re the pauper in the papers, and I’m the Gazette’s greatest cover. You’re nothing but cash in this town and a sentimental suicide lover. We’ve got your name in stone and your worst endeavors caught on tape. You call it a lifestyle… I call it fucking rape.
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[14 Jul 2005|10:04am]

xkillingmadison
It's true, I live! And I still write. I haven't posted here in a poo long time. I doubt if anyone remembers me that well. I'm that dude that shares his work with the rest of the community.

Yeah, I bet that helped. A ton. Anyway. Here's my most recent....crap. Actually, I think I've gotten a lot better.

Radar detectors and things that break.Collapse )

Probably rockin' typos up the ass, it's early.

Michael.
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Alllllll new! [20 Mar 2005|12:48pm]

xkillingmadison

Roman Holiday Glitterati
A fourscore affair, and a room full of blood. A monolithic dream tells the story here. This sacrifice at a hell-for-leather pace leaves a little girl with dry salt streaming down her face (and just like the last little pig, she'll cry all the way home.) Godspeed the gnashing of teeth, grinding like pestle and mortar at the site. But this is no more than a personification; we deal with tragedy every day, a little less off than ordinary. Stories. Dreams. She found it hard to believe her blinded eyes. Sick situations make up the building blocks of a Gacy generation, her numb lips wouldn't even scream for help. Split second and hairtrigger, now she's robbed of both dignity and oxygen. It's hard to tell when you've done enough. Now grayscale, but she's still the victim. Red and black and white. Red and blank and white. Victim. "The sodomy presented and adultery provided, an unfortunate equation where the bane of lust resided. With purity unkempt, and flesh but torn off from the bone, our punisher: astonished, as he found himself alone. A lifeless figure awkwardly portrayed against a wall, with a siren gaze accompanied by emptiness, of all. For a kiss upon the left cheek would rob you of the right, but no kiss at all will grant you fall and quell against the fight."

Keepsake, or His Wishes Were Sentimental
Imprisonment was the kindest term they could offer. Four walls of steel trace blood and vomit, and mock haggard complexions that are more than just fighting for freedom... star treatment pleads the fifth. You're top dog or the random bitch in a commoner's rat trap, but either way, discomfort has begun to take its toll. Peraly whites. Pearly gates. I couldn't ask for me. These are the actions of an icon, not a criminal An honest crime is one that destroys, and these actions haven't harmed a soul.

Sitter Stanzas
Human error and the lack of intelligence thereof; this is a circus. If you've got blonde hair and blue eyes, you may already be a winner... automatically progress to the finals. All those that do not meet our requirements will face decapitation on site; join the millions! Hitler would be proud. It will soon become called to your attention that acceptance is as good as suicide. Please check your self-esteem at the door. Starlet, you're sweating. Delete it from the scenes. Your idols are crying, but they'll clean that up in the magazines. The camera's got a death stare, now the mpegs are streaming and they never saw it coming. A script so partial to this filthy condition. Yes, it's all disgust, and you're doing exactly what Mr. Producer wants you to; don't think for a second, you cannot think. Contacts and high heels are the carnival attractions that bring you to Miss America's feet. You'll be starved for attention or fed for publicity. The grass is greener in Beverly, so sign here and here, and you'll belong to me. Silver screen fuck queen, laughing in the face of momentary rape, all of your desires are caught on tape. And now we bring you live to the porcelain palace of the bulimic sweatshop beauty, to perform her next stunt... press your forehead to the mirror's glass. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

Our Lady Of The Slaughterhouse
As I wahsed my hands clean of her unfaithfulness, fate found its way up my spine to a place in a lonely synapse I hadn't yet encountered. Eyes, ears, and mouth were uncovered and she told me everything. Everything I wanted to hear, everything she was late to say. She wanted me to feel guilty, sorry, and more emotions that I had gotten over. But not in this moment was sympthy connected to a lasting embrace. You can't take back a stab in the back; liken that to the chest and the damage is still permanent. "You're still dying, and I'm still the last thing you'll see, so look into my eyes and take it with all of the dignity you have left." She didn't seem to absorb much of that, she didn't buy a goddamned word I said. She knew too much, boss, she knew too much.

Wrong Side Of The Operating Table
Two eyeholes cut our of plaster and a new walking lesson; her condition is contagious, but she's immune to slander. Botox Barbie woke up with a coathanger smile and stitches on her personality. She'll look good on Broadway, Cosmo would love to have her. But what would Rome think? Is this what Monroe envisioned, the American Dream? A flashbulb would capture every false precision line on our battered Madonna decorated in roses. It's gold. As classic as modern art. Oh California, do you cry for youth? Doesn't it just make you sick? Have we no heart? This is the end of natural beauty and a rebirth for artifical self-esteem and recognition. (A dotted line drawn. Runway strut. That sparkle in her eyes. A hipbone fantasy. Rejection, injection, dissection, reflection, perfection.) Tell me what you don't like about yourself.

Garrison State and Heavy Hearts Ascending
Negative progression as we sift through diesel and dirt, our mechanic limbs screaming "oil, oil!" between foam and regret. The stench of the fumes, this has become the background music that plays us our through endless nights. Our main distraction fiends as a standstill; finding a way out of this mess. The corruption is right in front of us, we are betrayal. Foot soldiers armed with fatal tyranny as their only defense have somehow gotten the best of the few true seekers of purpose; knowing what this earth was founded upon, however hopeless in design. You've stolen our secret. Happy endings don't play out like this, and no exceptions are allowed, forbidden ground. Tendency is a key word, how about democracy? You've said all you need to say. I've done all I can.
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[08 Mar 2005|08:17pm]

hiddenxshadow
Squeeze me so tight that my bones crack, my lungs collapse, my heart stop making room for a life. It's an order surpassing the request of such a thought. Grab the blade like I showed you and make a clean incision big enough to drive your heart through making it into the darken room that it lights up. Fitted for a flame, yours fits stainlessly.

*unfinished... maybe I'll finish later.. maybe not..
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[30 Dec 2004|08:20pm]

xkillingmadison
My last work for the year.

(And now for what I love doing more than anything else...)
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[26 Dec 2004|07:57pm]

xkillingmadison
(Christmas Goodies)
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[26 Dec 2004|06:18pm]

hiddenxshadow
[ mood | blank ]

I'm looking for answers and coming up with more questions than bold thoughts. Questions from my insecurities trying to fail me and answers from myself to figure out who I truly am. Living more than one true life has never hard. Pleasing the ones that fork themselves in the road ahead of you are the ones you have to yield from. The ones that lie to your face are your true friends, the ones that lie behind your back and break the legs you stand on are your assailants. Then the ones that stand there to watch you fall are met to be your patrimony.

I'm searching for someone I haven't even met before.

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[20 Dec 2004|07:57pm]

xkillingmadison
New material. Enjoy! =)
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[29 Nov 2004|08:05pm]

hiddenxshadow
[ mood | depressed ]

I'd say you won this fight with enough lies to tie the scoreboard. This has gone through so many stages, so many places, so far down to the heart's core (or at least mine). It all started as a friendship, which led to a fun secret, then went into a secret relationship, which fell into deadly love hidden beneath the surface.
At the beginning of the week when I thought I had everything figured out and everything was said and done in my head, I was great. A new me, not the one you molded into the one of your dreams come true. But now, I'm not sure who to look to to find the information I needed. To find whether or not I fell in love for the first time with the guy I wanted/want or just someone that looked at everyone as a "friend."

I just need to know one thing and that's it. It will determine how much you meant/mean (even though we both know there more than likely won't be a comeback) to me, or how much I can despise you further more.


Just remember that I was waiting to hug you (because it was the only place I felt was warm), even if it was for the last time.

+cmnt

[25 Nov 2004|11:20am]

xkillingmadison
Recent work.
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[03 Nov 2004|09:59pm]

xkillingmadison
http://www.livejournal.com/users/poetry_unedited/9802.html
http://www.livejournal.com/community/poetry_unedited/9128.html
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A catatonic encounter with the first kind... [18 Oct 2004|07:11pm]

xkillingmadison
[ mood | indescribable ]

And the preacher strikes the bell. There are no hunchbacks here, only admirable men. No one can tell what they're hiding. A pinched nerve or a crucifix? You can never be too careful, and we aren't about to save anyone's lives. This bloodgulch has gone on too long. As nails dig deeper, I start to gain momentum and an epiphany is born. "Could this be love?" asks an onlooker. Well, sir, I'm not sure how to begin.

[It's at this moment that the lights go out and Hell dines on the lower beings.]

Her eyes engorged in mine, I feel so severed that I can't even take a breath. And if I close my thoughts, a swifter shape takes form and ecstacy bites at the bit. But wait. Can you believe this is happening? The lesser forms, feeding on a prey so beautiful that they shrink in blindness. Her neck tips back and pours out every decent aura that surrounded me. A quick bite stands as the fuse burnt to start a fire. [I begin to think "It was this easy from the start and I never caught on? Excuse me for my innocense, ladies. I was only trying to help.] The cauldron calls me. Breathing in the aroma of hot passion never seemed like a good idea. But we were one, and no crowds to intervene. Another section removed, and now what tempts me but lust. Who saw this coming?

I decline and a better sense of insight lies achieved. Trickery never fooled me before. A slick captain aboard the S.S. Minnow, perhaps, and the cliff impedes us. Could a crash derail everything we've had and stretch the miles until our hearts are bursting with anticipation? Well America, only time will tell for the two villains of androgyny and beauty, coupled at last. A final note to the editor:

"I hate you." That won't stop me from adoring you.
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If not allowed, let me know. [15 Oct 2004|12:14pm]

xkillingmadison
poetry_unedited poetry_unedited poetry_unedited poetry_unedited poetry_unedited poetry_unedited poetry_unedited poetry_unedited poetry_unedited poetry_unedited poetry_unedited poetry_unedited

I mod. Come see us. <3
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What. [15 Oct 2004|12:06pm]

xkillingmadison
[ mood | accomplished ]

”NewCollapse )

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[18 Sep 2004|12:29pm]

hiddenxshadow
join
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searching for an intoxicated soul [18 Sep 2004|11:52am]

hiddenxshadow
[ mood | impressed ]

I feel the temptation coming, I feel his hot breath breathing down my neck. I don't know if it's wrong, but it feels oh so fair. For me fair equals revenge. I would admire myself if I told you how he gently rubbed my bare back better than you ever did. I smell the intoxication he has in his body and 5 seconds later I taste it. It's making my mouth dry, my body dry, my mind stark. I know everything I'm doing is against you, but I know you've done it with the piece of your heart that reminds you of me in the pocket of your jeans on the floor. After I quit my heart is finally hermetic from the blood that was left dripping from where you pierced it with your lies. I become numb because I never thought I could do such a thing as this and I layed inert there on after with me wrapped up in his arms.

I awoke to find he didn't remember a thing.
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[16 Sep 2004|09:24am]

xkillingmadison
[ mood | accomplished ]

Over the course of the storm, I wrote a LOT. I figured I'd share it because hell, it's poetry, and that's why I joined. So check it out, jankas.

Frances = InspirationCollapse )

Michael.

{13}read-+cmnt

[06 Sep 2004|03:42pm]

hiddenxshadow
[ mood | distressed ]

I'm hanging upside down from the bridge we made together and forgot to burn down. I'm wishing the blood will keep rushing in my head and washing out all the thoughts that I have about you. Because right now, baby, you're all I ever wanted and hated at the same time. Luckily we're good at keeping secrets or else instead of having a blood rippled mind, it'd be the internal bleeding in our hearts from the stab wombs we left each other with that's killing us both and you know it.

{2}read-+cmnt

[21 Aug 2004|10:47pm]

xkillingmadison
[ mood | complacent ]

All new poems/songs.Collapse )

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New. [11 Aug 2004|03:17am]

xkillingmadison
Here's To Your Health, And Its DeclineCollapse )
{2}read-+cmnt

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